New Things are Hard

It is interesting that no matter how much we try to focus on doing new things we always revert back to what is safe and comfortable.  We profess that we would like to shake things up a little by stepping out our groove and trying something new.


But that old familiar demon of fear stands before you with hands on hips, and challenges you on why would you want to do something new.  Why shake the status quo?  Why move out of this comfy little spot that you have worked so hard to create? Why try something that you don't really know how to do?


And you know that little demon is loud and intimidating and so you go back to that small place that you have stayed in for a very long time.  You go to work, watch television, sleep and eat and maybe, just maybe get to the gym here and there.  And you long to rattle that cage that you have created.


So, we need to challenge fear.  Most successful people say that they feel the fear and go forward anyway.


Fear of not succeeding, fear of looking foolish, fear of regretting a decision that you cannot go back on.  Life is full of these choices and we all make some wrong and some right.


But staying in one place and not making a decision to change, is still making a decision.  A decision to stay where you are.  A decision to not grow.  A decision not to try new things.


That makes not deciding almost as scary as deciding doesn't it.


Most people on their death beds regret the things they did not do, not the things they did.  Hmmm.....

Fear. Doubt. Happiness. Boredom.

Normally we think the opposite of happiness is sadness. Here is a new idea. What if the opposite of happiness is actually boredom instead of sadness? The opposite of love is indifference instead of hate? These thoughts come from Tim Ferriss and the longer you think about them the more interesting they become. Boredom is unhappiness. The times when I feel the most unhappy are the times when there is nothing to stimulate my mind and body. When I stretch to reach new goals I feel the happiest. When I leave my comfort zone behind I feel anxious and uncomfortable. When I push through this feeling even on small tasks, I feel the elation of having accomplished something hard; of stretching the envelope and learning new skills.

Last year I was working on this project and one thing went wrong and I immediately packed it all up and put it away. I have reopened the project now about a year later and have moved way past that one thing that went wrong and now when I look back I cannot believe it was a showstopper for me. It has faded to a small insignificant detail. That kind of retrospect lets me look at the issues that seem to loom now and when I think about it I know that they too will shrink to become insignificant with time and action that helps me move around them.

I act in spite of fear and doubt. My current mantra. It works.

Taking Action

In my last post I talked about living boldly and for the last two mornings I have seen my message hanging on my mirror when I arose. (I have posted a card on my mirror that says LIVE BOLDLY! )To live boldly I have to specify actions that represent Living Boldly for me. Living Boldly is trying something new every day and making those new things BOLD things. I have to live Boldly in the context of my current life as to suddenly up and change everything would be quite disturbing for the family who depends on me to keep the boat afloat. So I have been doing new things each day. (Since early December) I recognize that they are new because there is usually some fear and trepidation in my approach to them. I recognize the emergence of my avoidance response when I go to do the things that are new and bold. (Could it be true that I am my own worst enemy). On one hand that fear makes me look carefully at the action to see if it will somehow put us in peril. But most of the time it is empty fear disguised as prudence. I have an action list now. I am taking firm steps to start the business that has sat on the back burner for a while, I am planning an adventure with a friend so that I can go to a place that energizes me as much as it makes me nervous. And each day I do at least one small to medium new thing that replenishes my soul and makes it sing. Suzanne Braun Levine(author of Inventing the Rest of Our Lives) says that if you turned 50 within the last 5 years or so, you have a 40% chance of living to be 100 years old. Good data. I want to do that.