Zen

I was reading Robin Sharma today. I like his stuff. I always find a piece of something that I can use. Here is the one for today. (I have paraphrased his thoughts. I hope I do him justice) Life is a delicate balance between making things happen and letting things happen. Too much of either side is not desirable. On one side you seek to control your outcomes too much. On the other you just let life carry you in the current.

Robin says that "Life will always lead you to a better place". If things do not work out the way you had hoped, after you have given it your all, then sit back and let whatever is happening, just happen. Harder to do than it sounds when you have a vested interest in your outcome. That second click is the sound of a door opening to a new path. "Because every ending ushers in a brand-new beginning". I love that thought. The idea to trust that life really is going to work out is pretty phenomenal. The proof is that as I look back on my life, the outcomes that I thought I did not want led me to a good place.

Try to apply this thinking when something in life does not go the way you had planned. It is tough but if you do it you will find yourself in a place of relaxation and peace. That lets you see the next possibility and lets you hear that little second click as the new path is illuminated. Results in a sort of que sera feeling. You trust that this outcome did not happen as you had planned but that there is a new adventure waiting just ahead. Great way to view life. One adventure after another. What should I choose to do next.

Creating a new path lets you look forward instead of wishing for what was. Sometimes what was, was not all that great in retrospect. Kind of the devil you know though. If we take away one thought from this, it is to trust that it will all work out. Zen.

From Robin Sharma "The Greatness Guide"

Pre-Magnificence

There is a line in the movie "The Natural" that is significant. "I believe we have two lives. The life we learn with, and the life we live after that." How profound. This life to date has been all about learning how to live. Now we get to do it! What fun that predicts for the future. If I have 20 years or so left...what do I still need to see. Like being in Rome and you only have a week left. What are the things you still need to see before you go home.

In the book "Something More" Sarah Ban Breathnach calls the restlessness before we grow, our premagnificent stage. The restless time right before we break out into our second life. The time when we look at our lives and they are not so bad but now we want something more. More what? I don't know.It is funny to look at how much I have, how positive my life is and wonder why I want to shake it up. She gives you permission to say it is okay to want more and okay to feel discontent. If between now and this day 2011, we did one new thing each day what would our world look like then? Definitely different. 365 new choices...1 each day. Sounds like fun!

Breathnach also speaks of Divine Discontent. "Discontent and disorder are signs of energy and hope, not despair." She speaks of feeling exposed and fragile. This is the turmoil that you feel in your premagnificent stage. If you view this turmoil as the time before your big breakout then it seems like a positive thing. Neat way to view it. About to launch Book 2. Book 1 was very good. I am looking for some unique new experiences in Book 2.

New Goal

I am away at the cottage for some much needed R&R. Good friends. Good food. Good wine. Shared a great wine with friends last night. A 2007 Seghesio Family Vineyards Zinfandel. The sum of the wine, the food, the friends equalled an amazing night last night. It was one of those moments when it all came together. Those are special moments. Friends from 40 years ago. Still friends. Lucky us.

This is a great break from the business stress and pressure. But it does not stop while I am away. Still making arrangements with our packer from the US. The product in its finished form will be shipping next week. That also means some welcome influx of cash. My sales manager is prepping the shipments. We are a bonified business. My new goal is to achieve 500 new accounts. That will create a great pull on the inventory and a reasonable offset to the debt the company has incurred to date. I am going to meet with my sales manager when I return to share the new goal with her. 500 accounts. We currently have about 160 accounts so it is not unachievable depending on the sales group choices to remain with us or leave us when the contract expires. Either way we go forward to our 500 goal. Lofty but not impossible. I put it in writing and shared it with the world so it makes it that much more powerful.

Setting a goal in that way makes everything you do need to point in that direction. Each action needs to move us closer to the goal. We need to ask...does that action get us another store or stores? If not we need to move forward on actions that do. Already I am feeling pulled in the right direction. My enthusiasm and momentum are focused on that goal. 500. It's out there.

Seeing The Future

I have reached a peaceful place with the cost I have incurred to getting the business going. They used to shock me to have risked our long term security to this extent. Not anymore. Somewhere in my mind I have dealt with it, processed it and then accepted it. Now to keep working on offsetting that number with product sales.

Interesting how a state of anxiety can suddenly let up. There are no choices to make, no more money to be spent...just sales to create. The task is clear. Interesting after the turmoil to have arrived in this place. I can do this. On some days I think I cannot do this but today I know I can. One foot in front of the other. The fun comes back now too. it was obliterated by the worry. Now once again I see the goals ahead of what I hoped this could be. Once again I remind myself that there are strange little success stories based on products that are not nearly as functional as the one we make.

This is the place where lots of people can easily see the sense in abandoning the task. It is quitting within 3 steps of the goal without actually knowing how close you were. It is when you look back and view the way it was and see how simple it was and then you ask yourself what you are doing on this road. I know why I am on this road so the bumps are just part of the scenery. The progress is slow but still in the right direction. Retailers are buying the product and then reordering. Sales people are excited to sell the line. All the indicators are good. A crystal ball would be nice right about now.

Crisis? What Crisis?

A favorite speaker says that every person is always in one of the following situations. Either we are about to enter a crisis in our lives, or we are in the middle of a crisis or we have recently emerged from a crisis. Sad but quite possibly true. It makes life a series of coping steps that we take to deal with each crisis as we enter it. Those who have coping ability survive their crises and emerge with new talents and strengths.

Therefore the problem only comes when we expect life to be completely smooth. If we expect a series of crises in our lives then it becomes a simple exercise in coping with each as they come. Maybe if we viewed it this way, it would feel normal and peaceful to move from crisis to crisis. Peaceful and steady. Sounds a little fatalistic doesn't it? But not really. I am hopelessly optimistic. But I still think the crisis theory is solid. Crises only become critical and frightening if we don't expect them to happen. Takes all the fear from the crisis when you know it is coming.

And if crises represent growth opportunities then bring them on....

The Captain is Expecting Turbulence

I am listening to Brian Tracey on my IPOD and he likens starting any new project to the takeoff in an airplane. He says we always experience turbulence when we take off. As an ex flight attendant, I know the exact time when that turbulence begins. The pilot makes an announcement that we should stay buckled in as we are expecting turbulence. The air currents from the ground create turbulence and going through the cloud layer creates turbulence. So we always expect turbulence after takeoff.

So I took off. And now I am experiencing turbulence. The sales group that we were contracted to work with has cancelled the contract as they themselves are under siege by competition. They have decided they need to focus on their own company's survival.

That leaves us with 60,000 units and no sales force. Hmmm...my first reaction was shock, fear and anxiety. I have since switched to coping mode. If you read my earlier blogs you saw the one that spoke of making a list of ten solutions to the problem. Then try one of the solutions. Try another if that one does not work and keep going until the problem is solved. I had to leave for a conference so I chose not to think about this for those two days. I would make my list of solutions on my return.

My sales manager however did act and she blasted us out of our dilemma in a big way. She went direct to the individuals in the sales group and found out they were loving the product. They were very enthusiastic and optimistic about its' potential. They are independent reps and thus are able to choose to stay with the line or not, even if the company who contracted with us no longer is on board. She also emailed a large chain(which I think should definitely carry the line) with the information about the line and they responded back with who we should contact to follow up. All in a good days work and now we are back on track. We can still build our rep group ourselves or we can go back to a napkin distributor and work through him.

The orders are coming in. 30 new stores now plus the original 20 and we are making progress. Just another issue to solve instead of shock, fear and anxiety. All the credit goes to my sales manager for turning this mountain into a bump!

All just post takeoff turbulence. We will break through the clouds any day now.

Life on My Terms

My younger son just started his first job. He did not want to work to get a job but I pushed him by reducing the funding of his social life. He has a great job now and he is having a great time on the job. He has met new people and been successful at things that he did not know were out there. He moves from job to school to social life to chores and stays organized and gets it all done. All good things.

I should be excited and happy about this new independent person emerging. Instead I suddenly see the point where we start to upload obligations and accountability that now weigh heavily on us in our later lives. Maybe it is part of a whole evolution of growing up and growing older. You learn to manage the obligations and the related skills that come with those obligations. Then when these same obligations that taught us so much start to weigh heavily on us, we seek to shed them but still retain the skills that came with that stage. Is there a way to live freely throughout our entire evolution or is this a necessary growth stage?

We learn to spend our time achieving goals and doing the 'right'things. We stop listening to our heart. Our definition of what is 'right' gets narrower as we age too. What if we did the wrong things? What if we travelled the world and did not get a job. What if we followed our heart and did all the things that made out hearts sing when we are young. Is that failure? Who decides what is the right path and what is the wrong path. We look at and admire those who follow their own path and reach their definition of success. Yet we seek conformity and encourage conformity in our children.

Before I do things that scare me, I always wonder why did I book this or commit to this? After I do them, I know exactly why. If I can overcome the awkwardness of the beginning...when I do not know what to expect, then I can move on through with confidence. Need to accept that place where nothing is familiar and trust myself when I doubt.

For my next twenty years I want to live a modified Richard Branson version of my life. A little adventure, a lot of unique experiences. My crowning glory of a life on my terms. And maybe I will return to the sameness of the now and it will be the right place for me. When I die I do not want to look back at an unlived life of mediocrity and safety. A life where I did all the right things but missed all the rights things for me.