Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Symbols of Freedom

Yesterday I bought a new car. I have never been a car person. For the most part if the car starts when I turn the key, I am okay with whatever I am driving. This car was different. It is the car I have admired from afar with no real intentions of ever having one. Just looking.

It is a convertible. Somewhat symbolic in the sequence of cars that have passed through my life...various vans and larger cars with room for hockey bags, knapsacks,luggage and golf clubs for my children and their large varied group of friends whom I have driven around in the last 20 years. On the new car, when the hood is down there is no room in the trunk for my purse (bit of exaggeration but you get the idea).

The car is about how it feels, not how it looks. (Although I did analyze my reasoning on this before buying the car.) I think I am about how it feels and how it fits with my quest for personal freedom. Freedom from being who I should be. Freedom from expectations. Freedom from financial obligations. Freedom from work that pays the bills but does not feed my soul.

When I look at my life, it is so great in so many ways. Maybe this dissatisfaction with a satisfying life is a catalyst to rocket me to the new place that represents the next stage in my development. Van Breathnach thinks the world sees behaviors such as this as a midlife crisis of sorts. She says that it is not a midlife crisis but rather a precursor to creating a new life that fits with the person who you have become. We created a life when we were young that suited who we were then. And we are still living it now even though we have become someone else. So it doesn't fit anymore and therein lies the source of our dissatisfaction.

What fun it is to create the new life. Consciously evaluating all the things that make your heart sing! Then slowly but surely making those things a part of my life. Then to work the financial side of it to support the lifestyle I am creating.

Here's to symbols of freedom! They make you able to see and touch a part of the nebulous cloud that you are moving towards.

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