Wave Surfing and Life

Trying new things even on a small scale can be likened to diving through waves. When you stand in the shallow water and face out to sea and watch the waves roll in. If you stand just shallow of where the waves break you can watch them break from a safe distance. You sit safely bobbing in the swirl that happens after the wave breaks untouched by the ferocity of the breaking wave.

If you happen to stand right near where the wave breaks, the water crashes over you, tearing at your clothing and slamming you toward the sandy bottom. You come back up breathless and disoriented. Here is the secret though. To pass through a breaking wave you have to dive into it. When you do you smoothly emerge on the other side. You see the obvious analogy. Right now I am standing in the shallows watching the wave break. Feeling the need to dive in.

I have chosen three things that I can do right now. Climb Kilimanjaro. Register at the University to get my Masters (and then do I dare hope a PhD?) and go to my first Yoga class at my gym. Those are three things that I can incorporate into my life NOW. I have a willing friend to climb with. We just need to book the trip. I have already contacted the University for registration and all I have to do to start my yoga class is drive to the gym. Done. Many of the people I have read about, who had made their midlife changes, had chosen to do something inspiring and that changed their path completely. To a more fulfilling one. I see a big wave coming.

Wishful Thinking and Entrepreneurship

I read a column from an entrepreneur coach and he says when you are starting out, most days are bad ones, where you wear multiple hats and are required to do ten different tasks, only two of which you actually know how to do. And he says some days you want to throw in the towel and other days the sky is the limit. He's right. Most days entrepreneurship is just one small task after another. Nothing glorious. Expenses still exceeding income. Moments of glory but the rest is just a series of tasks that hopefully move toward the goal.

Some days I think I Can Do This and there is no end to my optimistic view of the future. Then other days when I wonder what the heck am I doing anyway! Whatever made me think this could work? And then something small happens...some small bit of success that sends me rocketing back to optimism. A roller coaster ride to the finish.

It is interesting that if I had not invested the original money into the project, I may have quit by now. Not because the idea would not fly but because it is difficult and slow. I had expectations that this would happen faster than it has. T. Harvey Eker says to plan on paying twice as much as you budgeted and take 3 times as long as you thought it would. He was right although I did not know it at the heady launch time when I read the article.

It is still fun though and in the end that is what counts. Add in the fact that it continues to grow, despite that it grows slower than I would like it. Budgets would indicate that over time I will make money too. I still look at the product and get a little flip in my heart. Random, unsolicited, unmotivated feedback still says Thumbs Up. Still a reason to go forward. On Dragons Den they say not to expect to make any money until year 4. I am thinking year 2 or 3 but maybe that is wishful thinking....

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger - On Retirement (usnews.com)

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger - On Retirement (usnews.com)

10 Reasons Retirement Makes You Feel Younger
By Sydney Lagier

Posted: June 15, 2010

Retirement gets a bad rap. It conjures images of white hair, rocking chairs, and forgetting where you left your teeth. It reminds you of that man driving ten miles an hour under the speed limit with the turn signal still blinking after a lane change six miles ago. Retirement is just another word for getting old, right?

Wrong. Retirement is actually the fountain of youth. Ok, maybe you won’t literally start aging backwards, but it will feel like you are. Think back to your childhood, to the last day of school before summer break. Remember the thrill of having all those months to do anything you wanted? Well, in retirement you have the whole rest of your life. Here’s why retirement will shave years off your attitude.

No more ties. Only grown-ups wear ties. When you put on that suit each morning, it transforms you. You become a professional, an adult, and let’s face it, old. When you wake up the first day of retirement and find yourself still in your pajamas two hours later, you’ll feel like a kid on Christmas morning, just waiting to unwrap the rest of your life.

Pedaling instead of commuting. Yes, you rode your bike when you were still working, but that was merely for exercise. Now it’s for fun or even to get somewhere. Pedaling through the neighborhood with the wind in your hair transports you back to your youth.

Movies in the middle of the day. Like that kid on summer break, you can catch the bargain matinee on a weekday, except now you can see the R-rated ones without your mom.

Playing just for the sake of playing. Now you can play golf solely for the fun of it, without discussing the latest sales figures with your client. Whether it’s tennis or piano or Sudoku, retirement lets you play purely because you want to, even though it isn’t productive. Productive is a grown-up word. You’re too busy frolicking to care about that.

Taking electives. Kids finger paint to create, not to sell paintings. You’ll join a class just because you want to draw or sing or write. It doesn’t have to further your career or your degree, you have time to learn simply because you’re interested.

Fewer responsibilities. Ever wonder why the president’s hair turns gray within a year of taking office? It’s all that responsibility. Without your job you’ll have a lot less of it. Your gray hairs won’t turn back to black, but you’ll probably slow down on accumulating new ones.

Ditto with stress.

Energy. After a long day at work, you pretty much have the energy to eat dinner and then park yourself in front of the TV for a few hours before going to bed and starting all over again the next day. Without that job to exhaust you, you’ll actually have energy, like when you were young.

Sleep. Part of that energy is because you are no longer operating on six hours of sleep. You’ll sleep in like a teenager until you’re absolutely ready to join the waking world.

Social networking. When you were working you didn’t have time to figure out Facebook or Twitter or texting. You had more important things to do. You don’t anymore. So when you hang with the cool kids on laptops at the coffeehouse, you’ll also be checking for new comments on your most recent blog post.

You’d think that since retirement comes toward the end of your life it would make you feel older, not younger. But it’s not the end of the road. Retirement is the beginning of a new road leading to years of slurping from the fountain of youth.

Sydney Lagier is a former certified public accountant. Since retiring in 2008 at the age of 44, she has been writing about the transition from productive member of society to gal of leisure at her blog, Retirement: A Full-Time Job.

View from the Porch

Picture this...you are sitting on the porch of your home 20 years from now. Are you happy and deeply satisfied with the decisions that you made in your lifetime, particularly the last 20 years of conscious living? Do you smile with the sense of having achieved the things that mattered to you? Do your eyes and smile sparkle and resonate with the depth of a life lived close to your true authenticity?

We need to change the things in our lives that bring worry and resentment. Just like that. It is not easy. We become enslaved to the more superficial elements of life and we trade them for a life of truth and engagement. It is not easy to just step away from a gradually escalating search for stuff that began when we started working. This coincides with a gradual imperceptible separation from what truly mattered to us. Until we can no longer isolate what that was. It haunts us in midlife as a nagging feeling that something is missing.

What if you did step off from the things that age your body and wear on your mind. Those who have been there say that when you move into the space where you truly belong, all things come easy. All the things you feared do not happen. You do not become a bag lady. You do not wander the house in your slippers wondering how to fill your days. Stepping off brings to mind images of stepping into an abyss.

What if you found out that you have 5 years left? How about 1 year? Changes how you look at things. You think that life will not go by so fast and yet it does. And the plan you had to change how you spend your time has fallen by the wayside squelched by the paradox of the devil you know versus the devil you don't know.

There is a gradual physical toll of living a life far from the core of who you are. A daily wear and tear that comes from worry and fear and negative stress. As opposed to the positive stress of living boldly. Cells that are constantly regenerating in an atmosphere of fear and anxiety must be very different than the ones made in a nurturing spirit centred body.

We can make small daily changes but at some point I think there are leaps to be made and then small daily changes and then leaps. And so on. It is the fear of those leaps that makes us compromise repeatedly and settle for choices that do not make our heart sing. Scary leaps make for a bumpy ride but they also make the view from the porch resonate with the clarity of a life well lived.

Exit Stage Left!

I had a call from a business today. She had been at a party the evening prior and she loved loved loved the napkins! So much so that she wants to sell them in her business, a gallery, restaurant and decorating business. So she had gone online to look for it, as the web address is on each napkin.

When I was speaking to her she said that they had so much fun with the napkins that she was going to become my biggest fan. She reinforced the conversation inspiring value of the product and the magic of her unsolicited enthusiasm was invaluable to me. She just gave that rock the final push to get it to the top of the mountain. She seemed like a person I might like to know. Easy going, irreverent and funny. And in total admiration of the product.

She reinforces the value of what I have created and renews my own enthusiasm for the project. We are working on the next release of 5 more SKU's and of course running to a deadline. We are moving production back to the US and the product quality that they have is amazing. This next line is exciting, maybe more so than the first.

Interesting and possible right now that this line could be my employment and wouldn't that be neat. Puts some real accountability on me to keep the line fresh and growing and always introducing new lines and products. Never had the experience of being totally accountable and having my pay level dependent on that. I am used to working for someone else. This would be a nice way exit stage left.

Be Careful What You Wish For....

Our company grapevine has revealed that there are job losses in our division on the horizon. Interesting that I wax poetic about having a life that does not include the less desireable pieces of this job and yet when I find out I may be doing just that, I experience a deep anxiety. Change never was my thing...and yet any changes that have occurred in my life even the ones I had not planned for have resulted in a better life. So why not this one.

When I think about not having a job after a lifetime of working I picture myself aimlessly moving about the house. (I think I am even wearing slippers in that image and I do not even own slippers). My family has a lifestyle that counts on my pay check to cooperate. I wonder how I will describe who I am if I am not employed. I have two children who will be in University for 4 years. Those are all the negative thoughts. Got them out there. They are always the first ones to come to mind.

Chris Daughtry was right. "Be careful what you wish for...you might just get it all."

Here are the good thoughts to chase away the scary ones. I always have to work to see the brighter side although the dark side comes to me immediately. The business takes off. Already it generates adequate revenue that primarily goes to pay off the debt of beginning the company. Maybe there will be packages that will help out on this! Freedom to travel a little. If I have 20 years left I want to fill it with joy and new experiences. Maybe I can describe myself as a successful entrepreneur/adventurer someday. Liking that handle. Liking the idea of being mobile. Maybe I will have more time to get in shape and take those courses. These will add structure to my days and stop the slipper shuffling vision from becoming real. :)

Two Lists

I have not posted for a while. Life gets busy sometimes and you get so busy living it that you do not have time to write about it. Brings me back to the whole concept of being too busy to do the things that matter. If you made a list of all the things that fill your days and a list of all the things that are important to you, are there any items that overlap both lists. I hope so. But many days I don't think so. The ideal is to have both those lists looking similar but the more different the lists are, the less likely it is that you are living from the centre of your being.

It is definitely a process. Every day cannot be ideal. The idea is to move in the direction of your list of things that matter. Do one thing that matters to you every day. Every day. It is a start and it tends to be self propagating in the feelings of engagement that result. Creating an ideal life is hard work. Everything you have learned and experienced to date led you to this moment.

Remember the goal but remember that the journey is where we truly engage with our life. I had heard that so many times and in my exuberance to achieve thought it to be a little soft. But now I see it. The journey is the goal. We grow and change through our experiences. I want the business to thrive and survive but the effort to make that happen is where all the fun lies. And since I am learning not to be so future oriented it has allowed me to see that there is a journey and that there is growth and development along the way.

It goes back to a previous entry about letting life happen. You do all you can and then sit back and experience (not always enjoy) the journey.